'Twas the Night before Implementation
'Twas the Night before Implementation,
and all through the Shop,
Not a program was working,
not even the STOP.
The programmers hung by their tubes in despair,
With hopes that a miracle soon would be there.
The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of inquiries danced in their heads.
When out of the disk there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear.
But a super programmer with a six pack of beer.
His resume glowed with experience so rare,
He turned out great code with a bit-pusher's flair.
More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
On UPDATE! On ADD! On INQUIRY! On DELETE!
On BATCH JOBS! On CLOSING! On FUNCTIONS! COMPLETE!
His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean,
From weekends and nights in front of the screen.
A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Turning specs into code, then he turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger upon the 'Enter Key,'
The System came up - and worked perfectly!
The updates updated, the deletes ... they deleted,
the inquiries inquired, the closing completed!
He tested each whistle, and tested each bell,
With nary an ABEND, and all had gone well.
The system was finished, the tests were concluded.
The client's last changes were even included.
And the client exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,
"It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"
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Last Revised: 07 February 1999